The Mullet

Fun fact: 83.4 percent of students are attracted to mullets. The remaining 16.6 percent? They already have mullets. In the spirit of the approaching Blue and Silver formal, we here at Fogue could not advocate the mullet more enthusiastically.

One of the mullet’s main benefits is that, unlike many other hairstyles, it is a perfect ’do for the average school day. The teacher sees only your serious front in class, but you can make a sure bet that when you stand up to get a drink in Paresky Commons, your voluptuous back will receive some longing stares.

People may not be able to make heads or tails of your style, but you will definitely make a groovy statement as you dance the night away!

The Medusa

Tired of using too much snake oil to grease up that perfect hairstyle? Ditch the oil and harness the innersnake!

This year we artsy trend-watchers have been hearing hissed whispers about potential appearances of the “Medusa” hairstyle at Blue and Silver. We advise matching this reptilian-chic hair with snakeskin shoes, fang earrings and snake-eyelet, lace-rimmed bowties.

Contrary to popular belief, the Medusa hairstyle was inspired by a group of overworked Uppers. After the History 310 Spring paper, a class of depleted Uppers realized that they hadn’t showered in months! This mistake resulted in the now-popular look of sporting a colony of snakelike dreds from your head. See ya wearing this later, alligator-hair!

The Plain Jane

For all you wild ones out there, Hairstyle #3 is perfect! If you want to stand out in a sea of Mohawks, brightly dyed hair, and mullets (they’re making a comeback), try a truly different look: the ponytail.

Its unbridled beastliness will shock everyone, but if you are someone who can pull off a unique, idiosyncratic style, it is perfect for you—or anyone who wants to make a statement!

This pony style is most popular with kids under-going their “awkward stage,” a time period of braces, middle-parts and the occasional mid-life crisis. Ponytails are the perfect way to let the world know that no, you don’t want to stand out. It looks great in conjunction with hair, eyes and other plain, generic features.