Spoiler alert: before you finish reading this article, you will have decided to vote for us. That being said, hold your overexcited mouse before you click our names on the ballot: this. is. not. a. real. campaign. We know that this may come as a shock, but the truth is that we, the king and queen of Featuresland, feel no need to run for the Co-Presidency.

Why, you may ask, would an ideal pair not appease our followers and assume “official” control of the school? Because, to put it simply, we already have carte blanche power, without the limitations of being Co-Presidents.

The only thing that we promise after assuming office is to make Student Council more transparent—so transparent, it’ll seem like it doesn’t exist at all.